Entry 9: Here’s where you messed up. You assumed I was a naive little girl. You assumed that in pursuing minor obsessions and in discussing characters in a relatively neutral attitude i.e. not negative, that I was foolish. That I was truckin’ along, right next to every other Facebook zombie, eagerly chasing after whatever captured the biggest headline. That I was just one other disappointment, not examining the bigger picture.
Believe me, I see the bigger picture. I see the broken and the fucked-over lying in the dirty alleyways of our cities. I see the children, being pampered and taught to focus only on themselves. I see parents continuously pressing racism on their children and on others, determined to keep the age-old habit alive. I see the sobbing mothers, bent across coffins draped with the American flag. The wounded remain wounded. The fucked-over remain fucked-over. But don’t worry, we’re healing the ozone layer.
I see the politics, and the disappointments. The obvious solutions in our government that could fix so many things. But no one has the balls to step up to the plate. Government isn’t about the good of the people. It’s about not stepping on the toes of the most influential people. That’s all it is and I realize that. However, I won’t get into vibrant discussion with you, as I don’t follow it that much. I know enough to maintain a vague idea and enough to be disappointed.
Why I’m justifying my actions and my thoughts to you is beyond me. I suppose, I felt insulted by an implication you delivered. But there is one thing I would like to point out to you.
Not everything in life is bad. Not everything is awful and angry. Life isn’t only filled with bittersweet thoughts and disappointments. The glass is always half full. For every death, there is a life. For every sacrifice, there is a grateful person. The point is, when you become so wrapped up in the negative, you ruin the greatest gift you’ve ever received. Life. You can argue that you’re not pessimistic but realistic. Fine, you’re realistic, but with a pessimistic attitude. And one day, when all is said and done, you’ll be left with an amazing history to brag about, shiny pieces of medal, and an empty auditorium. And when that day comes, I will say nothing. But I should like to look into your eyes. And have you see my subtle implication. I told you so.