And So She Thinks: Day 10

Who am I? Who are you?

Livin’ life with no regrets
Trudgin’ through life’s simple tests
We’re all put here for a reason
Just waitin’ for our perfect season
What is your purpose? What is your meaning?
We all find out, watching the premiere screening
Of our actions and our hearts,
Have we lived? Ready, set, start!

A little ditty I thought up as I wait for my work to become available. I need to test websites but they’re down. However, I utilized this free time in order to review my friends and think about how I’ve done things. I flatter myself in thinking I’ve done an excellent job. Perhaps a more realistic and more modest approach would be to say I’ve done a fairly decent job. I’ve made friends.  I’ve left friends. I’ve moved away and I moved back. I’ve maintained an awkward balance all my life of being friendly and trusting but always standing on my tiptoes, ready and almost aching for flight. I put my faith in people, I give them the benefit of the doubt. But I’m not surprised when I’m wrong. I’m not even hurt half the time anymore, just disappointed. But back to life and my “accomplishments”, I’ve explored, I’ve worked hard, I’m still doing the school thing. It seems everything’s in order but not any of these experiences have told me who I am and what my purpose is. Maybe my purpose is just to smile at a stranger one day when I’m 46. I don’t know and neither do you. Some people claim divine purposes or just a purpose in general. You have no idea of your purpose except to live and hope you fulfill it. If you know a purpose, it’s a purpose you’ve created to cover up the fact that you have no idea the meaning of your life. But it’s ok. No one does. It’s not a bad thing to not know. It comes to everyone in time. I’m sure. I’m still waiting.

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