Entry 11: I feel like an ADHD monkey, bathing in massive quantities of caffeine, and playing with bubbles. I cannot pay attention. I need to be. I need to help trouble shoot this program so we can get it out on time. I’m not interested. At all. In fact, because I’m so uninterested, I’ve merely been sitting here staring at a screen filled with issues and thinking about goldfish. They say goldfish have a memory span of three seconds. If that’s true, then how come my goldfish knows when I’m going to feed him?
I turn on his light, I tap the tank once with the food container, then feed him. When the light comes on, he goes to the top. If I tap the tank, he stays there. If I don’t tap the tank, after a few seconds he gets bored and goes back to swi[frolicking]mming around. Riddle me that one, scientists.
Perhaps it’s the coffee. Perhaps it’s the fact that it’s my sixth… seventh… eighth? cup of coffee. I might be sick. But I won’t be. I’ll tough it out. I hear that can make people a little jittery.
Anyhow, it came to my attention (in a sporadic and fleeting moment) earlier that I’m not big on voluntarily going out of my comfort zone. I’ll do something different if you convince me. I’ll fight a little bit at first but usually I give in. But I won’t do it on my own. There’s gotta be someone there to convince me. Otherwise, I trick myself out of it. Giving myself all sorts of bullshit reasons why not to do anything different. I had to convince myself for about ten minutes to listen to a song that wasn’t my usual preferred genres. Afterwards, I was glad I did. It was a good song. But still, ten minutes?! For a four minute song?! Goodness. And I don’t have the motivation to really try and push myself to become more open to new stuff. Like right now, I’m listening to Eminem. Because he’s ok. He’s not always rapping about butts, women and cash (although those songs are catchy). However, here’s a twist. I’m surrounded by programmers and we’re all singing to it. -Weird-