And So She Thinks: Day 16

Entry 16: I got the text at three in the morning. The vibration setting was so loud. “One [Four] New Message[s]”. 

“I don’t know what to do”
“Please help me”
“I wonder what it will feel like”
“I can’t take it anymore”

It broke my heart, to read those text messages. To know that you were so blinded by the negative, to not look up and see the good. I tried to tell you, in my texts back, what there was to live for.

There are so many new people to meet, every day in this world. No matter where you go, you can make a new friend or create a fantastic memory. There’s always a new adventure if you just open your eyes. There’s always a hand somewhere out there to hold on to when you’re down on your luck. A hand that will help you back onto your feet, and another hand to guide you in the right direction. Despite the news coverage, many people do still have a heart. And are willing to show you if you just open up a little bit.

I know it sounds hypocritical of me. I was in the same boat. But I moved past it. Sure, there’s still emotional scars but no one’s pure. To me, suicide became something that I was ashamed to have considered. I was ashamed to have not taken the time out before to open my eyes and appreciate the world around me.

Look underneath the roaring of cars, look past the dirty skies and the angry drivers. Wipe away the smudge and the trash, put aside the few heartless characters you have met. Instead, look at the green grass. Look at the children in the sandbox. Look at the blue skies and glowing clouds. Look at the laughing faces in your camera. Look back on the happiest days of your life. What could have gone so wrong that you don’t even want to take the chance of discovering those good days again?

There’s always going to be a better day, a better per[girl]son to hold you, a better feeling, a better song in your head, and a better thought process. You just have to be more receptive to it. I can show you how.

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