And So She Thinks: Zombie Apocolypse

A recent event occurred in my life that triggered my concerns about a zombie apocolypse. I happen to be a gangly, clumsy 5′ 9″ girl which in turn leads to having large feet. Large feet and clumsiness do not by any means go hand in hand. Parading around the kitchen the other night, I happened to stub the shit out of my toe. However, I’m used to it and therefore, had a moment of *damnit that hurt!* and then continued on my merry way. Two hours later, I looked down and it was like a rainbow had exploded inside my pinky toe. Seriously, it was heavily purple at the point of impact, a little black around the edges and then faint green and blue covered the entire base of the toe and onto the top of my foot. This menagerie of colors led me to believe that my toe had somehow desired to resemble that of a zombie toe and decidedly took matters into its own hands.

I didn’t mind the zombie-like discoloration. In fact, I was quite pleased with what the blood pooling beneath my skin was capable of. However, I became a little unnerved once I turned on the TV and was guided to the AMC channel, where they were opting to show the first three episodes of “The Walking Dead”. Hastily, I turned on the light in the tv room and checked for any scratches or potential unnoticed bite marks that may have appeared on my skin. Thankfully, there were none.

But what if a zombie apocolypse did occur? What if suddenly humans all went mad and cannibalistic and their brains reverted entirely back beyond primal? Well, hypothetically speaking, the intial reaction of the entire human race would be to panic. In fact, I’m fairly certain that more people would die from the beginning panic of an entire species, than by bites and attacks from zombies during that same time period. After survival of the fittest came into play, the place would become a lot quieter. The cars would’ve stopped making their daily commute. Anarchy would begin to reign above. Respect for personal privacy would be shot out the window. At a certain point, the human mindset would switch from hiding and waiting it out, to entirely and primally survivalist. Once all the facts were recorded, the following months/years would be meticulously planned out and written down. Daily trips (armed) would be made to grocery stores, gas stations, hardware stores and these stores would be the first to be emptied out. Supplies would be gathered and hoarded by different groups in order to sustain life.

Now, we see this in every zombie movie. That one group standing alone, armed to the teeth and hiding in some big store or hospital or what have you. But what I don’t understand is why these people don’t seek refuge in some place capable of sustaining a garden, a vegetable garden or near woods that house plenty of meat i.e. deer, raccoon, squirrel, quail. How come so many of these stories involve them holding out in cities, cautiously making trips to stores and occasionally managing to hotwire some gigantic vehicle capable of plowing through a kajillion zombies and hardly blinking? Why do they not pick themselves up, transport themselves (via indestructible eighteen-wheeler) to a place built to withstand attack (you know a fort, or something like that)? These places would have room to grow food and spread out and have plenty of defense.

The reason I believe this would be the best idea is simply because once the majority of the human race is wiped out, all of our current amenities would be out of order. Cars? Well there’s no more gas to pump. Electricity? Who’s gonna work the power plants? River dams? Those things would within just a few years of no maintenance jam and bust. At this point, the only thing left are the structures we built. Other than that, it’s back to a primitive time period. You hunt for food or grow it. You spend your days with the other survivors playing marbles or cops and robbers or some shit like that. Granted, it’d be a boring ass lifestyle but one way to look at it is…. for all those people you’d wanted to just shoot in the head, you can take out all that pent up frustration on mindless, bottomless pits of zombies. That’d be pretty rewarding in itself. And it’d be a great excuse to get really drunk as your entire species drops around you.

Just saying.

On a side note, while these are just little observations by me, these blogs may actually be of assistance to you in preparing for and handling a zombie apocolypse (survival not guarantee):


2 thoughts on “And So She Thinks: Zombie Apocolypse

  1. Well one could easily survive by just taking a few steps. A stilted home (like the ones in most beach areas) are ideal for zombie survival. But anywhere that you can either demolish or pull stairs up will be a forever safe haven against a zombie apocalypse. As zombies do not have the ability to jump you will be perfectly safe.

    I suggest somewhere above the snowline as once it snows the zombies will freeze and you will be able to forage for materials and maybe even find a new safe house for the next year.

    One could out live the entire apocalypse and die a normal death only due to getting old as long as they took the time to prepare. I suggest you do a bit of research on zombie survival as most people have the ability, but not the brains to actually survive.

    And the zombies would only last so long before rotting so chances are they are all gone long before you die of old age.

    • Did you perchance read “World War Z”? Because they too suggested moving about the snow line. The only problem with that was the freeze actually halted the process of rotting on the zombie’s body. This would, hypothetically speaking, increase a zombie’s lifespan and in the process, lengthen the amount of time it takes for them to decompose. Unless you proactively sought out the frozen zombies and disposed of them in their immobile state.

      As for the research, there has been plenty done. Believe me. A plan has been sitting in my room for several years now with constant additions. This post was merely a humorous musing inspired by a toe resembling that of a zombie 🙂

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