Spinning in Confusion

I spin in a circle, caught up in my own head
Wondering paranoid delusions and fantastical situations
I am turning upon the concrete and smiling to a moon so bright
Feel as if the stars are a maze, to travel through
Perhaps upon these sparse lights
My upside-down world could take shape and explain itself to me
Maybe I could disappear into the sky
Fly upon the wings of clouds and time alike
To a mind like no other
To a dream of truth and wonder
Tiptoe across the rings of Saturn
And breathe where there is no air to consume
It would make more sense than what lies within my own eyes
Each word I feel dance upon my lips and retreat
Every instance of enlightenment frantically fades
As a gasp of knowledge flies from my mouth
Only to fall short with nothing to follow
Spinning as a mad hatter

Could we all learn to be so unknowing?
Would it be so terrible to lose these improvements of the brain
That have resulted only in problems, disease, emotions, and confusion?
Confusion has set upon my shoulders with a desire to stay
But I hate permanence and I hate dust
Yet no other human can lay out the missing puzzle piece
Every other piece is there except two
The one a stranger holds, the one to give me a sense of complacency
And the piece I hold to my heart
Imprinted so solidly from the grip I have sustained
These pieces must be in place before I die
But first

I must stop spinning
I must erase this confusion of a brain
I must sit and  know
I must understand why, why to everything
Why him, why her, why this, why that, why it, why what
It all must be laid out, be it in a map, in the sky, in the bathtub, in my own reflection
To know is to allow freedom of my puzzle piece
And finally finish my self-portrait


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